You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
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I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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