is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
