Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
