I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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