If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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