New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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