i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
