you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
did you just send me my own nude
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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