moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Four minutes until I can fart!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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