i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
