im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize