Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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