Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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