The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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