i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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