it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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