I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize