is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Someone signed my nipple.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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