i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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