her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize