whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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