we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
