WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
