She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
