No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
