just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
