It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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