sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
