We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I would fuck him just for his dog
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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