I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
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