I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
