Tell her she can't have a vagina
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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