I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
