you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
