is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
