So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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