let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
