North Korea, Best Korea!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
