i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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