you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
