Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize