If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
