my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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