I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Drunk is a universal language darling
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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