ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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