One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
All the doctor said was why
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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