OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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