you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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