there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
