so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
