marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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