who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
