And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
