I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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