Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
