He passed out mid-signature
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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