i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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