Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
