So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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